Millcyclopedia v.1.9

February 2004
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1

1

Nickname given to Lisa Wickstead to help identify her and make conversation easier between Simon Scriver and Brian Malone.

[See Wickstead, Lisa]

2

2

Nickname given to Sharon McCallig/Jenny Lawson to help identify her and make conversation easier between Simon Scriver and Brian Malone.

[See McCallig, Sharon; Lawson, Jenny]

3

3

Nickname given to Sharon McCallig/Jenny Lawson to help identify her and make conversation easier between Simon Scriver and Brian Malone.

[See McCallig, Sharon; Lawson, Jenny]

4

4

Nickname given to Maree Dooley to help identify her and make conversation easier between Simon Scriver and Brian Malone.

[See Dooley, Maree]

4-Day

Nickname given to Brian Malone due to the extremely high number of weekend breaks he was taking, requiring him to work 4 day weeks.

[See Malone, Brian; Weekend Break]

A

Adams, Tony

[See Howlett, Mike]

Anderson, Angry

[See Penknife]

Ann-Marie

(1) [Ann-Marie Carolan] Ex-college mate of Simon Scriver.

(2) [Ann-Marie Hennessy] Ex-score of Simon Scriver, known primarily for being over 10 years older then him. Memorably left people flabbergasted by pointing out she worked for the BBC "...in the 80s".

(3) [Ann-Marie Casey] Work-mate and ex-score of Simon Scriver.

B

Bad News Brown

Any member of staff in the Leisureplex who wears brown and comes to your pool table to warn you about how high your bill has gotten.

Banter

Needs no definition.

Banterlink

[See Nitelink]

Bella

[See Campbell, Brian]

Biff

[See Howlett, Mike]

Biffers Bridge

The area between a girl's arse and gee. Just down the road from the Monkey's Forehead.

Big-Head Boland

[See Boland, Laura]

Big Bird

Rough ex-score of Simon Scriver

Big Show

Nick-name of Brian Campbell (Big) and Pat Caufield (Show) collectively.

[See Campbell, Brian; Caufield, Pat]

Billy

Ex-regular taxi driver of the Millers. Known for being harshly overpriced. eg. Costing 9 euro to drive from Paul McCabe's house to Jeremy Brown's house.

Black-Out Zone, The

Celine Kenna's house. Given the name because Paul McCabe is not allowed to operate his phone from there, no matter how urgent.

Bobby

[See Brown, Jeremy]

Boland, Laura

Ex-Girlfriend of Paul McCabe a.k.a. Big-Head Boland

Bolands

High quality, good value sandwich bar located off Grafton Street, often frequented for work lunches. Staff members include Mr. & Mrs. Boland, The Minx, and The Oz Minx

Boules

Sport which swept the mill in the summer of 2003.

Brando

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield, after Marlon Brando, due to an incident in Brian Malone's house where he was slumped over in a lazy heap and asked, "Can someone get me a can please?"

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Brefnee

Girlfriend of Mike Howlett. a.k.a. Chutney

Brenda

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield. Evolved from Brando after a mis-pronounciation by Mike Howlett on the way back from Wexford.

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Brick, The

The item brought by Brian Campbell to Simon Scriver's Random Object Night.

Bronzed Princess

[See O'Brien, Janet]

Brown, Jeremy

a.k.a. Bobby

Bull, The

[See McCabe, Paul]

Bully

[See McCabe, Paul]

C

Campbell, Brian

a.k.a. Bella, Mega-Mega-White-Thing

Carton, Neil

[See Clones, The]

Cashman, Emily

Ex-college class mate of Simon Scriver, and ex-girlfriend of Mike Howlett.

Cashman, Isabel

Little sister of Emily Cashman, and ex-score of Simon Scriver.

Caulfield, Pat

a.k.a Brando, Walter, The Wizard

Chadwick, Luke

Orla Gaffney's ex-boyfriend, following her break-up with Simon Scriver. Named after the soccer player, due to the fact that both share the same retnab appearance.

[See Gaffney, Orla]

Charlene

Paul McCabe's car.

Chutney

[See Breffne]

Clones, The

Nickname used as reference to all the Clontarf lads as a group, derived from the mill's inability to tell them apart when we first met them.

[See Maguire, Johnathan; Kelly, Conor; Henry, Paul; Carton, Neil; Kennedy, Ciaron]

Coin Tossing

Game involving the throwing of coins against an object, usually a wall, where the winner is the person who ends up closest, and gets to keep all the coins. Usually played on the wall of 1 Watermill Lawn, but has been known to be played elsewhere, including 3 Watermill Lawn, Spi Bar, and The Great Wall of China.

[See Goober; Leanie]

Collins Avenue

Allegedly the longest avenue in the world. At one point home to, amongst others, DCU, Brefnee, Nuala Morgan, Sharon McCallig, Ciara Pidgeon, Isabel Cashman and Emily Cashman

Collinsgate

Nickname for Collins Avenue, derived from the debacle that was Simon Scriver and Aaron Copeland trying to score Nuala Morgan and Sharon McCallig, respectively.

[See Collins Avenue]

Copeland, Aaron

a.k.a. Egg

Corr, Catriona

Ex-college friend of Lynn Hicks, and ex-score of Aaron Copeland. a.k.a. Mag-Lite

Crater-Face

Nickname of a girl Mike Howlett scored. Derived from the next day when Mike Howlett remarked, "She was good looking, wasn't she." and Paul McCabe replied, "Who? Crater-Face?"

Cunt, The

[See Grainne]

D

Darling of the Mill

Nickname given to Sharon McCallig because she's such a darling.

[See McCallig, Sharon]

Denis

French boyfriend of Sharon McCallig a.k.a. Garlic Cheese

Devil's Doorbell

A girl's clitoris.

Devine, Derrick

Front-man of one of Aaron Copelands many bands. Known for turning any given opportunity in to a gig. Memorable moments include being ridiculed while attempting to play a gig on St. Patrick's Day in Aaron's house, and for attempting to be as 'free as a bird' out a car sun roof in Leitrim.

D.H.

[See Dollymount House, The]

Doggy, The

The act of crawling along the floor on all fours. Invented by Brian Campbell on the football pitch, but popularised on the dancefloor.

Dollymount House, The

Semi-local pub, now reserved primarily for Christmas Eve, and random quiet drinks.

Dooley, Marie

College friend of Ciara Pidgeon a.k.a. 4

Downs

The occupants of any house below the upper lane and the green.

Drop The Shoulder

The physical act of trying to kiss a girl you've been chatting up.

Dutch Gold

The beer of choice for Millers. a.k.a. Dutchesses

E

Eagle Eye Cherry

The act of slyly checking someone out, usually by pretending to be asleep.

Egg

[See Copeland, Aaron]

EOT

End of transmission. Used to finish a conversation (usually on e-mail) when its been done to death.

Eva

Mike Howlett's car.

Ey-O

Aaron Copeland's car.

F

Fagan, Debbie

Ex-work mate, and ex-score, of Simon Scriver.

Fahey, Anna

Ex-girlfriend of Aaron Copeland.

FFS

Abbreviation for 'For Flocks Sake'.

G

Gabriel

[See Kennedy, Ciaron]

Gaffney, Orla

Ex-girlfriend, and thorn in the side of Simon Scriver. a.k.a. Ignorla

Garlic Bread

Nickname given to Nuala Morgan's boyfriend because he's French, and retnab.

[See Phillippe]

Garlic Cheese

Nickname given to Sharon McCallig's boyfriend because he's French, and the Mill were jealous.

[See Denis]

Ghost of Christmas Past, The

Nickname given to Jenny Walsh as she continues to haunt Paul McCabe on Christmas Eve down the D.H.

[See Walsh, Jenny]

Giles, Nollaig

Girlfrien of Michael Power a.k.a. No-Legs

Gill

Ex-college friend of Brian Malone, and ex-score of Simon Scriver. Was featured on The List.

Goober

Result of a coin toss where the coin lies flat but is, as far as the eye can see, in contact with the wall.

[See Coin Tossing, Leanie]

Grainne

Mike Howlett's ex-bird. a.k.a. Groucho, The Cunt

Groucho

[See Grainne]

H

Henry, Paul

Best friend of Johnathan Maguire

[See Clones, The]

Hermit, The

A messed up Scorpion, identifiable by your knees hitting the floor hard...very hard. Invented, and mastered, by Brian Malone in Galway.

[See Scorpion, The]

Hicks, Gill

a.k.a. Spitroast

Hicks, Lynn

Hotel Sokos

The hotel we stayed at in Helsinki, Finland. Usually said in an over-the-top gay accent ("Hootel Shhokkos!"), similar to the one the large gentleman who checked us in had.

Howlett, Mike

a.k.a. Adams, Tony, Sanchez, Biff

Hussey, Lynda

School friend of Lynn Hicks and ex-score of Mike Howlett

I

Ignorla

Nickname given to Orla Gaffney after numerous occassions where she dealt with any issues with Simon Scriver by ignoring them. Was especially noticeable as she had once broke down crying to Simon, saying she regretted ever doing that and blamed it on her friends bad advice...and yet did the same thing just over a year later.

[See Gaffney, Orla]

Illyad

Band which Aaron Copeland plays with. Made up of Sorcha Brenna and Orla Something.

J

J-Mag

[See Maguire, Johnathan]

Jessica

Swedish girl The Mill met in the Trinity Arch, and then stayed with on the Sweden holiday 2001. Memorable incidents include going to get her glasses to better see a porno she owned, accidentally exposing her nipple to both Paul McCabe and Simon Scriver on seperate occassions, and being Eagle Eye Cherry-ed by Paul McCabe and Brian Malone. Sister of Maddy.

Johnny Cock-Ron

[See Kennedy, Ciaron]

Jordan, Karen

School friend of Lynn Hicks.

K

Karla

Ex-girlfriend of Pat Caufield. American. Known for flying out of America on Christmas Day, leaving her family, to come over to see Pat.

[See Disappointment]

Kavanagh, Anna

Ex-girlfriend of Paul McCabe.

Kelly

Friend of Niki Ryan and ex-score of Aaron Copeland. a.k.a. Yessy

Kelly, Conor

Cousin of Lynn and Gill Hicks, and best friend of Johnathan Maguire.

[See Clones, The]

Kenna, Celine

Paul McCabe's long term girlfriend, and ex-house mate of Gill Hicks.

Kennedy, Ciaron

Best friend of Johnathan Maguire, and boyfriend of Lynda Hussey. A complete retnab. a.k.a. Ron, Gabriel, Johnny Cock-Ron

[See Clones, The]

L

Late-Show

Name given to Paul McCabe after turning up late for beers countless times, often induced by Celine Kenna.

[See McCabe, Paul; Kenna, Celine]

Lawson, Jenny

College friend of Ciara Pidgeon a.k.a. 2, 3

Leanie

Result of a coin toss where the coin leans against the wall. Practically unbeatable.

[See Coin Tossing; Goober]

Lex

[See Luthor, Lex]

List, The

An ambitious list of girls created and maintained by Simon Scriver of girls he was going to score one day. The List was made up of Debbie Pinson, Gill, Nuala Morgan, Joanna Roche, Yessica and The Ozzy Minx.

Luthor, Lex

A reference to the character Lex Luther of comic book fame, the arch nemesis of the legendary Superman. Used to describe someone who makes a miller's life as difficult as possible, usually in work. eg. "My Lex keeps ringing me and telling me to compute that data and send her a memo a.s.a.p."

M

Mad Michael

Name given to Michael Power after he flipped out on 30th January 2004 because someone hid his mobile phone.

[See Power, Michael]

Maddy

Swedish girl The Mill met in The Trinity Arch. Sister of Jessica.

Mag-Lite

Nickname given to Catriona Corr after she passed on a present from Aaron Copelan, a mag-lite torch, to the next guy she was scoring, Ronnie.

[See Corr, Catriona; Ronnie]

Maguire, Johnathan

Gill Hick's long term boyfriend. a.k.a. J-Mag

[See Clones, The]

Mal1

[See Malone, Brian]

Malcolm

Ex-work colleague of Brian Malone. His name was known after he didnt receive a Kris Kindle present by mistake, and kept quiet about it. Has since been the butt of numerous jokes.

Malone, Brian

a.k.a. Molly, Mal1

Maxi

[See McCabe, Paul]

McCabe, Paul

a.k.a. Bull, Maxi, Snowball

McCallig, Sharon

College friend, house mate of Nuala Morgan, and one-time house mate of Ciara Pidgeon. a.k.a. Darling of the Mill, 2, 3

Mega-Mega-White-Thing

[See Campbell, Brian]

Merger

Collective nickname for two of Mike Howlett's ex-workmates, Sheila and Rachel, who were both good looking except one had a big nose and one had a big mouth.

Minx, The

Young knacker girl who works in Bolands who is a bit of a minx. Known for low-cut jeans and a tattoo on her back which reads 'Kevin'.

Miriam

Aaron Copeland's one-time Belgian girlfriend. Known for hitting Aaron, and classic quotes such as "I teach the...how do you say...idiot children." a.k.a. Muscles from Brussels, The

Molly

[See Malone, Brian]

Monkey

[See Power, Michael]

Monkey's Forehead

A girl's clitoris.

Morgan, Nuala

College friend, house mate of Sharon McCallig, and one-time house mate of Ciara Pidgeon. a.k.a. Northern Complication

Moyles, Andrea

Ex-girlfriend of Pat Caulfield.

Muscles from Brussels, The

[See Miriam]

N

Nelly

Friend of Pat Caufield who often goes to the dogs, usually for his birthday which occurs 10 to 20 times a year.

Nitelink

Banterous bus used to get home at the end of a night out. a.k.a. Banterlink

No-Legs

[See Giles, Nollaig]

No-Show

(1) Michael Power, briefly, in early 2003 due to not seeing him for a long time.

(2) Brian Malone, late 2003 to present, due to a string of non-appearances.

[See Power, Michael; Malone, Brian]

Northern Complication

Nickname given to Nuala Morgan when she told Simon Scriver she wouldn't score him despite being 'attracted' to him, because 'It's Complicated'.

[See Morgan, Nuala]

O

O'Brien, Janet

Brian Campbell's long term girlfriend. a.k.a Bronzed Princess

Oz Minx, The

Cute, very friendly Australian girl who works in Bolands.

P

Pakkie Bazzer

Ex-score of Mike Howlett.

Panic House

Short movie created by Simon Scriver, Paul McCabe and Mike Howlett on 30th December 2003.

Penknife

Nickname of one of Simon's past work colleagues, given after he allegedly threatened Brian Campbell with a penknife a.k.a Anderson, Angry

Penny

[See Walsh, Jenny]

Phillippe

French retnab boyfriend of Nuala Morgan a.k.a. Garlic Bread

Pidgeon, Ciara

Brian Malone's long term girlfriend. a.k.a. Pidge

Pinson, Debbie

False name used in reference to an 'it girl' who you would love to score. Often reserved for Simon Scriver's ex-work mate Debbie Fagan.

Pit Boss

Nickname given to Celine Kenna when she 'calls the shots' in a Las Vegas pit boss manner. eg. The time she communicated to her boyfriend he could not go round to Aaron Copeland's house by simply shaking her head.

[See Kenna, Celine]

Pony

Word used to describe a, usually large, poo. Introduced to the Mill by Brian Campbell while we were in Leitrim in 2003.

Power, Michael

a.k.a. Monkey, Retnab, Mad Michael, Pull-Out

Pull-Out

Nickname given to Michael Power while planning the Helsinki holiday, as he kept saying he was going and then pulling out.

[See Power, Michael]

R

Retnab

Something or someone that is anti-banter.

Roche, Joanna

Ex-school mate of Lynn Hicks.

[See List, The]

Ron

[See Kennedy, Ciaron]

Ronnie

Friend of Adrian Copeland who spent Summer 2002 backpacking around South East Asia with Simon Scriver, Lynn Hicks and Aaron Copeland, amongst others.

Ryan, Niki

Friend of Lynn Hicks, and Ex-Girlfriend of Paul McCabe

S

S.A.K.

Swiss Army Knife

[See Howlett, Mike]

Sanchez

[See Howlett, Mike]

Scary Mary's Hairy Gash Bash

Barbecue once hosted by Scary Mary, who has a hairy gash.

Scorpion

A break-dance move which took the mill by storm in the late 90s and still makes the odd appearance. Popularity severely diminished when Mike Howlett split his chin open attempting it one night and had to go to hospital.

[See Hermit, The]

Scriver, Simon

a.k.a. Sue, Susie

Scriver Cup, The

Ireland (The Mill) vs. England (Welwyn Lads) soccer match. Originally planned to happen every 7 years, it now occurs whenever convenient.

Shiggins, Jim

Ex-work colleague of Brian Malone. When his name is mentioned, the expected reply is "Who's Jim Shiggins?", followed by any humorous response such as "Everybody."

Shitness

The music festival planned to be held in Leitrim, organised primarily by Aaron Copeland. Numbers were planned to be in the 100s, but ended up being a weekend away for about 15 people, where nobody even brought a stereo.

Shotgun

Riding in the front passenger seat of a car. Shotgun rules state that, to call 'Shotgun', the driver AND the potential passenger have to be within sight of the car...just before the commencement of the journey. Shotgun is resetted at any stops where something is purchased, or a notable amount of time passes. i.e., going in to a shop to buy a mars bar resets shotgun, while running up to someones front door to get them does not.

Shots And Geeks

Short lived drinking game invented by Simon Scriver and Mike Howlett. Played twice, with great success. Was set to sweep The Mill when Mike Howlett accidentally destroyed it.

Smellyad

[See Illyad]

Snowball

[See McCabe, Paul]

Spitroast

[See Hicks, Gill]

Sue

[See Scriver, Simon]

Susie

[See Scriver, Simon]

Susan

(1) [Susan] Ex-score of Simon Scriver. Known for being 4 years younger and extremely short.

(2) [Susan] Work-mate and ex-score of Simon Scriver.

(3) [Susan] Best friend of Breffne. a.k.a. Yahtzee

U

Ups

The occupants of any house above the upper lane and the green.

W

Warren

(1) Nickname given, briefly, to Paul McCabe after spraining Anna Kavanagh's ankle on the way back from the D.H. by insisting she give him a piggy back.

(2) Nickname of Michael Power.

Wally

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield, evolving from Walter.

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Walsh, Jenny

Ex-Girlfriend of Paul McCabe a.k.a. Penny, The Ghost of Christmas Past

Walter

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield when a random approached him on the bus and called him Walter.

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Weekend Break

[See Malone, Brian; 4-Day]

Wickstead, Lisa

College friend of Ciara Pidgeon a.k.a. 1

Wizard, The

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield when, temporarily, nights were only good when he made an appearance...even if he himself was retnab.

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Wolly

Nickname given to Pat Caulfield, evolving from Walter.

[See Caulfield, Pat]

Y

Yahtzee

Nickname given to Susan due to her skill of rolling Yahtzees.

[See Susan]

Yessica

[See Jessica]

Yessy

Nickname given to Kelly after she was described as Niki Ryan's 'Yes Man'.

[See Kelly]

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